Kindness elf

The girls and I have been so excited for the start of advent, so this morning everyone started out the day on a real happy note. I'm not sure whether it's the anticipation of Christmas, or the fact they get to eat chocolate every morning when they open their advent calenders that makes them so, but I love seeing their little eyes light up. This week we have been talking about how Christmas is the perfect time to spread happiness and be kind to people, and when I asked them how they could show kindness, they came up with some great ideas, they included:

- Play with somebody who is lonely on the play yard
- Make a drawing or card to thank their teachers
- Giving a homeless person a blanket
- Sharing their sweets or chocolates
-Praying for the children who don't have mummys and daddys

Seriously, when they kept coming up with super generous ideas, it kind of blew me away. I thanked the good Lord, that perhaps I'm doing an alright job at this parenting lark, and told them that this month we were going to do those things.

I've been thinking of ways to get the girls to re-focus on their ideas during this exciting season where sometimes commercialism and 'wants' can get in the way of real needs. At first I thought we could make a jar and have one of them pick out a good deed each day, but then I saw a post on facebook in reference to 'the kindness elf' - it's an elf on the shelf alternative, and I think it is THE best idea for children to realise the true meaning of Christmas.

Today we said prayers for the children in the world who don't have mammys and daddys and my middle Princess piped up 'and please give those children nice warm homes and everything that they need for a great Christmas' and I about welled up.  I so hope that they remember these fundamentals not just at Christmas, but all year round. Teaching them to have an attitude of gratitude is high on my list of priorities as a mama, and as a person. Sometimes I can be all too quick to complain about something that isn't quite going my way, like the fact I did an entire re-stock of my freezer, only to come home to find my freezer was dead. True Story. If it was acceptable for grown ups to throw a tantrum, I think I most definitely would have, but really I should have been grateful that I had the money in my account to shop, and a home to come home to.

Tomorrow I am heading to Tiger to buy a little kindness elf who will 'write' notes to my girls each night reminding them of a good deed they could try and do that day. I'm so looking forward to starting this new tradition!

By the way, tomorrow is Giving Tuesday so, get involved, do something kind for someone for no reason at all, and don't forget to spread the word!

And then it rained, and rained, and rained

It has been pouring with rain for about a hundred days. Okay maybe just three days but it seems like so much longer! The drainage on my drive isn't great and so if I have to go ANYWHERE then my footwear default is set to 'wellies'- anything else gets sodden with sludgy leaves and soaked through from puddles. And I am done with ruining shoes since I've figured out how expensive my taste seems to be.So I've worn wellies for a hundred days and I am okay with that.

Except, that when I come home and take them off, my legs are aching like crazy. So much so that my thighs and shins think it's been leg day at the gym all week. Which is great, except that I haven't visited the gym this week, (I know, don't judge.)

So I finally think I understand how the people, who constantly wince when I wear heels, feel. Ouch. All the flat shoe wearing is a bit of a shock to the system!

My porch also seems to collect water, as when I opened the door to let cookie out around a pint of water fell in through the door and soaked my very cool elf slippers.

All this to say. I'm over all this rain.

Traditions to prepare for Christmas

It's nearly 'the most wonderful time of the year' again, and I can barely contain my excitement. I love, and have always loved, anything remotely to do with Christmas time. I'm the sort of girl who listens to her festive Michel Buble CD in October, and watches 'The Holiday' at least once a week from November. It is just all too exciting, and lovely and, well just wonderful. So to mark this amazing time of year descending upon us again, I thought I'd share some of my favourite Christmas traditions that I started with my wonderful kiddos.

  1. We go to see our town's Christmas light switch on, which is usually around mid November. The kids get a hot chocolate from starbucks and Mama gets a peppermint mocha or a Toffee Nut Latte and we are like a little red cup family, it's so fun to take a picture because Scarlette usually requests a caramel babycinno so the picture shows a very BIG cup (mine) two small cups (the big girls') and a teeny tiny cup (Scarlette's) it's like the three bears but cuter, because let's be honest, coffee is way better than porridge. We also have to wear scarves, hats and gloves (or mittens!) to said town because it is cold around these parts. I love to take a picture of the girls looking all wintery next to the big tree all lit up and splendid.

  2. We write a letter to Santa
I've never struggled with the Santa V Jesus debate that lots of Christian hosueholds seem to have, my girls know that Jesus is the entire reason we have Christmas, but Santa is a little fun that I like to encourage and indulge in. The girls write their wish lists and tell Santa how good they have been, and then they usually get a video response from the big man himself - I use the portable North Pole website, because it is realistic and magical. I sometimes also send myself one of those videos too, and usually Santa places me on the good list which is just brilliant. The Kids also post a letter to Santa, and as long as he receives it by December 6th, the kids get a personalised letter mailed back to them by the lovely folk at the Royal Mail North Pole.
 
3. I decorate the house on December 1st
Every year, on December 1st, after the kids are asleep, I set to work on decorating our home for christmas. I have a slight OCD about my Christmas tree which has to be decorated symmetrically on all sides and must have a new colour theme every two to three years. Last year it was red and gold, but this year it will be black and old gold, as I'm trying a more sophisticated twist. I will of course always include the kids' ornaments, and any baubles with sentimental value in every years display. I also set the nativity scene up complete except for baby Jesus, who appears in the manger on Christmas morning. The mantels get decorated too and a tree is placed in each window at the front of the door. Finally I add a wreath to our front door and buy a poinsetta plant. When the kids wake up, I take a sneaky snap whilst they are marvelling at the tree, which usually is the photo I use for our christmas cards.

 4. We have a girls only movie night
We started this one last year when we were an all-girl household for the first time at Christmas. I settled my youngest to bed after a festive fairy tale and then sat down with my oldest two to watch 'Elf' and drink mulled wine (me) and Hot cocoa (them) and eat a Terry's Chocolate Orange together, all snuggled under a big quilt. I also put the fire on and light some Christmas candles, then I turn out the lights and we have a cosy cwtch up.

  5. We make paper chains
Every year I try to involve the kids in some christmas crafts and every year I almost have a breakdown because of the mess that follows it.( Think reindeer cards made out of brown footprints of a 1yr old, a 4yr old and a 5yr old.) Paper Chains is one craft that everyone seems to enjoy that is almost completely mess-free! It also helps to make the kids bedrooms feel more festive too.

  6. We address Christmas Cards and then deliver them
We set up a little writing station of gold pens, red pens and christmas cards and then get to work writing out hand penned notes inside them. After we are through, we bundle into the car to deliver them to local friends and neighbours, and the children get to see the lights of nearby houses at the same time. (It also saves money on posting them with stamps!)

7. We go to my old school choir carol service.
Each Year my old high school hosts a carol concert at a church near my mum's house,I think it's super fun to go and see my ex teachers and support the school at the same time. We dress warmly since the church is old and very cold, and then we sing carols and follow it up with a mince pie afterwards.

 8. My mama and I head off for an overnight girls trip to a city in England
This is one of my favourite traditions. Ever since I got my first full time job, my mother and I have headed to Birmingham to do some Christmas shopping. We browse the handmade fare at the christmas market chalets and we shop til our feet can't take another step. We also enjoy a Nando's and far too many starbucks. We spend a night at a hotel and come home excited to see our people and wrap the gifts we bought. Quality mother and daughter time is the best!

Look out for Part 2 - traditions for Christmas Eve, coming soon!

A picture roundup

It's been a while since I've posted, mainly because I got sick and doctors had to put me on nerve meds to ease the pain and discomfort. Since it's gone nine and I just took them, I'm afraid a coherent post is pretty much out of the question, so let's do a little catch up in pictures...

Before I got ill, my little brother came to town and we went for a little brother/sister bonding session, which almost always includes Starbucks, shopping and a visit to Nando's, this time was no exception.

Watching the 'Great British Bake Off' always makes me bake something high in calories, but I impressed myself when I perfect a rhubarb and ginger crumble with vanilla ice cream. Yes, Mary Berry, it 'crunched' and didn't go soggy. Score.

My drive got super pretty all sprinkled with gold and yellow leaves, so much so I walked the dog in the rain, several times.

I found MINT m&ms in a bargain shop for 69p a packet. I bought two packs, but regretted my self control far I tasted just how amazingly good they are.

My middle girly turned SIX and I threw a frozen themed party for her. It was of course fancy dress and mama got in on the act too. Mama also got out of tidying the post party chaos because of aforementioned headaches.

I've never felt so cherished. Honestly. Being a mama is hard, but being a poorly mama is just plain rough. Unexpected bunches of flowers, chocolates for no reason and not having to fix dinner some nights has just blessed my socks off.

I got to cwtch baby Zakk to sleep, and smell his hair. And I was in my element. He is just too adorable to even describe.

The weather has turned really cold now so there's been plenty of snuggling on the sofa with my little loves

The D word

I don't know what it is about November that makes me evaluate the year, maybe it's the prospect of another New Years Eve appearing on the horizon, or maybe it's because with the anniversary of losing the man against which I measured all men, I am reminded how fragile life is. Losing my Grandad was a bitter pill to swallow. That's the selfish streak in me, I know that he is having an absolute ball where he is now, but what I would give for one last mix tape of crazy war time songs!

I had high expectations of 2014, and I wanted it to end neatly, all topped off with a satin ribbon, but reality has a way of dashing picturesque notions. Last year my world caved in, and I was determined that this year I would walk all over destruction, devastation and disillusion in a pair of four inch heels. For the most part I did, and then I got sick with shingles and those heels got slung into a cupboard because dizzy spells rendered them useless. A doctor told me I had shingles a few months back, then a subsequent doctor told me I needed nerve medicine for neuralgia, then I collapsed in Starbucks.

Ya, that actually happened. And, quite frankly it was mortifying. The store could not have been busier if it tried! So anyway, yet another doctor prescribed more pain meds, but still the stabbing pains in my head would continue. When I saw another doctor, I welled up with panic at what on a earth could be causing horrific slicing through my scalp for more than two months. I told him I thought it might be something more sinister, and he spoke softly, looked me square in the eye and said ' I'm not concerned it is anything sinister. What you are experiencing is a normal reaction to an abnormal amount of stress.'

And I could have hugged that doctor right there and then. He adjusted my meds and I physically felt some tension leave my body as I walked out of his office.

But, oh my goodness does the medication make me drowsy and woozy. Now I am taking the nerve meds just at night time, so if you text me after 9pm, don't be thinking you'll get a reply because let's just say that sleep comes really easy now!

You'd be forgiven for thinking that I'm just about to wrap this up, but that was just a prelude. Now it's about to get real.

Last year my soon to be ex-husband broke my heart and my world. He left us for good, drove away not to return. And as I dried the tears of my sobbing children whispering 'it'll be okay, it'll all be alright' in between chest heaving sobs of my own, I wondered deep down whether it would ever be alright ever again.

By grace alone we got through that horrible season and as I pieced together their worlds the best I could, I discovered that even though hearts are fragile, love is not. There's nothing I wouldn't have done for those girls to ease their sadness and clarify their confusion. I loved them so fiercely through those months that if anything threw them off or saddened them, my angry mama bear instinct flared up every time. 

And now that the D word is upon us, we have normalised in the only way we know how. It's closure of the saddest time, and hope for a brighter future.

I have felt the lavishness of grace and I have walked the mountain top and the valley, and I am thankful for both. It's so comforting when you come to the realisation that ALL things work together for good to those that love The Lord.

I finally caved

I've been a mama for seven years now, which means I've been doing nursery/school runs for just over four years. I've walked to school in heat waves, snow and rain and always worn heels. In fact, I was so well known for my heel wearing phenomena that when I turned up as a parent helper for a school trip to the beach (in wind and rain, as is typical of British summertime) wearing cons, Princess's teacher told me she had to double take as it surely couldn't be me at school without heels.

As a disclaimer I feel I should say that my kids have seen me in flats, cons, flip flops and other such flat footed outerwear but this was a novelty to said teacher. I don't believe in halting fun for fashion especially where my little loves are concerned.

Anyway, back to my stubborness to sack my stilettos. I moved to the farm around 18months ago, and whilst I purchased a quilted jacket (with hood!) I was a long way off from being one of those mums with a parka and wellies for the school run. I mourned the ruin of many a shoe and boot at their sad demise through stone scuffs or mud stains from the crazy shingled driveway, but still I stayed faithful to totter to take the bins out in my kitten heels.

Today, I am one step closer to being at one with the farming lifestyle, to embracing the countryside sludge and to not muttering about yet another pair of shoes the rain had ruined. Because, today ladies and gents, I became the owner of these beauties...

If I must relent to the rain and the mud, I will do so prettily. (I'm not even sure that's absolutely a word, but if Miley Cyrus can get away with 'twerk' then I am so getting away with prettily!)

I don't know whether wellies makes me a sensible grown up or reverts me back to childhood- I had awesome patent red wellies as a child, and LOVED them. I almost want to go suit up the girls and go puddle jumping, but I'm torn between wanting to test them out and keeping them pristine and mud-free...

Bleach burns

A few years ago (Okay, really it was less than a year ago)I walked into a salon and told the unsuspecting colorist to turn my golden locks red, like a lush deep browny red, in anticipation of autumn. She buttered me up telling me how great my skin tone would look as a redhead and got to work with FOUR different colours. FOUR. For the love. I (im)patiently waited for the tints to do their thing and recoiled when the colours were washed off and my super red hair stared back at me. Don't worry, she said, it'll lighten when it's dry, she said.

It didn't lighten. I could have stopped traffic with that pillarbox red tint, but I did what most other britains do at the salon; I smiled, told her I loved it, agreed to model for their website, paid an extortionate fee and went on my pretty little way.

 The red soon faded to a husky pink colour because my previously barbie bleached hair had no clue what was going on and decided not to absorb the colour pigments. The caramel lowlights turned khaki and I was just a walking hair faux pas. I then returned to the salan (three weeks later) with my tail between my legs that I was not destined to be a redhead and that I needed my bleach blonde locks back right now please, thank you, please. She of course obliged, for a price, and worked magic to make me feel like me again. Five hours, four bleach baths and multiple bleach burns later, I bounced out of that salon feeling like me again. I'm not sure whether blondes have more fun, but I do know that they have more colour options when deciding what to wear- turns out red clashed with a tonne of my clothes too! That day I vowed never to tint my hair red ever ever again.

 All that to say, I have shingles. And, a week in, I am still in a lot of discomfort, my head feels like it did the time I underwent four bleach baths in five hours. I can't even brush it without wincing at the pain. I'm on a lot of meds to try and suppress it, which I am so SO grateful for, but I am SO ready for it to be gone. It's the last week of summer break this week and I had plans of school shopping with my little loves and late night trips for ice cream and the such but at present I've been stuck at home in an incubation period until the blisters stop weeping. For the love, it won't just be the blisters weeping if this doesn't clear pretty quickly.

 In other news, I am super thankful that we live in lots of beautiful countryside with no neighbours, as it's meant I've been able to take a stroll with the kiddos to harvest some more blackberries, I'm hoping for enough to make some bramble jelly, but we will see, as a big punnet has already been used to make blackberry and apple pie- an absolute favourite of mine. I've not ventured into the orchard this year yet, so I've no idea how the damson tree or apples are looking. Perhaps that will be my next little outing.

Summer at the farm

I can't believe in a little more than two weeks school will resume and summer will be over. I think it's gone so much quicker this year because it's the first year I've had to work all summer. (Insert sad face here) I totally didn't appreciate how good I had it as a stay at home mammy. Now my head hurts at the thought of trying to juggle childcare, work, nursery placements and the such.

So, here's a quick summer roundup- photo style...

We got a new addition to the smith/jones family- cookie Moët joined us in July. He's such a darling dog who loves bigging more than sofa snuggles!

I got to take this little pumpkin for a staycation at the health club I belong to. She LOVED the one on one time with mama and she LOVED the water!

We visited the beach a couple of times and this little water babe was found looking at the ocean for pretty much the whole time we were there. 

My big girls got their ears pierced! They'd been asking for ages and the summer seemed the perfect time to get them done and allow plenty of healing time before school.

More beach times, making castles, digging and eating chips.

Fun play dates complete with breakfast and Cwtches!

Blackberry picking in the garden. We had two big tubs full of them and more have ripened this week. Blackberry and apple pie anyone?

I'm quite excited about this one. My parents kept the girls (and dog!) for an entire week so that I could get some R&R ...in SPAIN! It was a little slice of heaven. I actually cried one night because I was so grateful to be sat there watching it get dark, realising how blessed I have been by a gracious God.

That, right there was the gala dinner at the hotel. Which just so happened to fall on a new anniversary for me. That veal was ridiculously good, I just can't even begin to put into words what happened when it went in my mouth. But seriously, it was GOOD.

It's no secret I love to get dressed up, and what better reason than a wedding? This one was especially cute as it was a member of the team at church tying the knot. 

I tackled a few small projects in the garden. Including revamping this flower bed with a luck of masonry paint and some flowering lavender. I'm so pleased with the result!

My powder room finally got finished. I especially love the Audrey Hepburn paper and vintage dressing table mirror. 

When I moved to Court Farm, I was a self confessed city girl. I liked nothing better than the buzz of a busy mall, bright lights and the thrill that retail therapy gave me. I liked to be busy and I liked the thought of a city that never sleeps. I was accustomed to hearing traffic and sirens and even the odd drunk group walk annoyingly past our home on a Saturday night, and though I had dreams of bringing up my babies in a nice rural location where they could bird spot and bug hunt, really and truly I believed that kind of drastic change would never suit me, or even fully entice me. Then I visited what would be our new home. And I fell in love. And as I walked the spiral stairs to view the bedrooms, my heart dreamed up scenarios of the little girl I carried in my arms, walking down them in a prom dress and eventually, a wedding gown. And it hit me that I'd viewed houses before, but never a home. And I tried to reason with myself that even thinking that far ahead was crazy... and when that didn't work, I reminded myself that the size and frequency of spider squatters in a farmhouse are insane. Nothing overshadowed how awesome it would be to actually live there though. And last spring we moved in. It was amazing and cold and exciting and did I mention cold? After our cushty warm terraced house with gas central heating, moving to a thick stone walled farmhouse with lots of quirky cross drafts and oil fuelled heating was quite the shock to my system. I won't lie, there were times I missed that old house, because, let's put it this way: I'm not at my best when I'm cold! Then summer came, and as the weeks passed and the weather broke, I learnt new things about my home all of the time. Like the fact there are three different coloured rose bushes in the front garden, there are apple and damson trees in the orchard, and there is no joy quite like making a homemade apple and blackberry tart from home grown apples and blackberries. The girls didn't know themselves during summer break- they had fields to play in and ladybugs to collect and perfume to concoct from rose petals. I physically pinched myself a few times to check it was all real, and I realised that instead of shoe shopping on a Saturday, I found myself home making and sitting in the amazing garden, and appreciating everything about where I was. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't transformed instantly into some country buff, who subscribed to 'home and garden' and only wore dresses that matched her china. But, it started to become clear that maybe just maybe I wasn't as much of a city girl as I originally thought. Perhaps, I was more suited to the simpler and quieter way of life after all. Hear my heart, homegirl still loves a good blow out at the shops, and if some louboutins were to find their way into my hands, I don't think I'd return them. Ha. (However I definitely wouldn't wear them on my driveway- that bad boy has WRECKED my Choo's and so many more shoes besides!)