1000 gifts

It's been a while again hasn't it?

well, I'm never really sure how to begin again after an unannounced hiatus from the old blog, so I'll just dive right in. After months of being far too busy to read, I decided that I would venture into the library and immerse myself in a book that would bring me joy whilst reading it.

Would you believe that the first one I picked out was '1000 gifts - a dare to live fully right where you are.'
The book that nudges you to compile a list of 1000 little blessings in your life.

How perfect was that?

I started reading it just this week and to say it is speaking to me is a bit of an understatement. I'm at a time in my life where I'm doing a lot of processing- learning to handle parenting issues that I've never dealt with before, adjusting to being a divorcee, being a working mama and trying to launch a writing career and generally trying to keep all of the various plates spinning without burning out. So, to have a book practically yell at me to just take some time to pause and be grateful has been incredible.

Reading has often been medicine to me, and what others refer to as escapism, I simply denote as learning. You can't read a book and learn absolutely nothing, whether it's a new word, a life lesson, or even a self truth, books are notorious for stirring up your emotions and then softly soothing them again.

1. The smell of old books
2. The glow of a lamp in a darkened room
3. An old blanket

I try so hard not to complain, but in all honesty, sometimes I just do, because I'd forgotten to be grateful. Gratitude is a lesson, that means that you have to learn it over and over again before it becomes second nature, it's like love, you have to choose it consciously above anything else. What about when the children are running around the house screaming and shrieking and you're on countdown until bed time just so that you can hear your own thoughts? You have to choose love over selfishness, love over brashness and love over pride. Or, how about when your love snaps at you? You want to snap back, really, everything within you wants to retort back- you've even got a brilliant one liner quip all lined up on your tongue, but you choose love instead, and you know what will happen? The row that would have escalated quickly is completely diffused as you take a deep breath and say nothing.

4. fingerprints on windows
5. drawings of mammy by a 5yr old
6. warm drinks at bedtime

More and more I am realising that how we react to the situations we find ourselves in, is a choice. And, when you choose gratitude over attitude, your circumstances will be better, perhaps not instantly, but some day.

I'd gotten a few chapters in when I read this:

'Maybe you don't want a different story, because you don't know what a different end holds.'

And it stirred something so deep within me that I couldn't help but read that phrase over and over again. Isn't that just the truth? Even when we are fully in the throes of wondering what on Earth is going on in life, would we really want it any differently? Really?

I had an RTA and turned my head to look right to overcompensate for not being able to see that way, but would I really want to be any different simply to have avoided a miniscule bump? Would I trade lack of vision for the unknown? Would I rather have risked having a different impairment? No, of course not, so why was I lamenting over it?

7. an inquisitive mind
8. running at the gym

It's a slow process, but the more I jot down things that I love in my life, the more I appreciate how good I really have got it. The book is based around the word 'eucharisteo' which broken down literally means 'grace, thanks, joy' or 'gift, thanks, joy' Perhaps that's why after you recognise the gift and appreciate the gift, you're left feeling lighter, more optimistic somehow, perhaps Ann Voskamp is right, this is the way to uncovering joy.

After situations in your life leave you weakened and a little bit battered, it seems the only lasting way to regain your joy is to be thankful for what you have, because as the saying goes 'there's someone in the world who is happy with less than you have.'

9. silence
10. The hoot of an owl