Love stories

IThe oldest little lady has just discovered Taylor Swift's backlog of hits, in particular she adores the song 'love story'. I'm not adverse to a bit of miss Taylor myself, however I'm not one to try and take the limelight or sing along or anything like that. Especially in the car at traffic lights...ahem.

Anyway, she was showing my gran this song when we were visiting with her this evening, and I couldn't help but be curious. My Grandad passed away three years ago, and seeing him and my Grandma together made me ache for that lifelong connection with someone. Whenever I would go to a wedding as a little girl, I just assigned the couple to being just like my Grandma and Grandad- utterly in love and never cross with each other. 

Of course, being a grown up I found this to be an ailien concept. This generation just replaces things if they are old or broken, whereas my grandparents grew up in a culture that nurtured and looked after your lot. Whatever you had, you treated it gently and fixed it if it got broken. I wonder when the huge culture shift happened?

Anyway, I asked my grandmother how she and my Grandad, Ray, had met. She said,

" I used to go to a Saturday night meeting at the church in aber cwmboy, and your grandad's friends used to go too. One night they asked him along, and he walked me home, and things went from there really."

I LOVE that my Grandad met Grandma at a church youth meeting, and then went on to be a preacher for 50 years, with my Grandma sitting in the congregation signalling to him with her watch if he got sidetracked and talked for too long.

I asked her how he proposed...

"Well my sister invited me to go to her house for Christmas dinner, and Ray came with me (he always loved food! Especially if it was home cooked and free! Ha) and he proposed. His mum and auntie were visiting soon after and asking when the wedding would be, his mum retaliated with 'not for a long time yet!' But we were married the following March."

Her eyes lit up, and her smile broadened as she giggled and recalled,

"We chose August first, I don't know why we brought it forward but we did and everyone thought I was pregnant!"

(She wasn't by the way! Can you imagine the scandal back then?!)

"We had a huge reception, over a hundred, Ray's mum paid for the food and the whole street decorated the church hall. It was lovely, over 100 people."

I smiled. Sounds about right, my grandparents were never without friends and my Grandad always held a crowd's attention. He was such a funny gentleman!

They were married for over 50 years and my Grabdma told me he never bought her flowers, not once since cauliflowers didn't count! Yet they never fought either. Perhaps no flowers were needed when love was in bloom indefinitely.

I've read a lot of love stories but this is one of my very favourite ones.

3 year old theology.

Recently my little darlings have started to tell the odd little white lie, especially when it comes to fessing up over who created the mess or spilt the juice. This week scarlette told a fib about her bigger sister and I totally caught her out and called her out on it. This was how that went...

Me: 'you really mustn't tell lies, it's not nice and it makes mummy sad.'

Scar: 'but I didn't tell any lies!'

Me: 'yes you did because mammy just heard you.  Now I'm watching you when you are being naughty, and so is Jesus because it makes him sad too.'

Scar: 'no him isn't, Jesus is at church, silly!'

Me: (trying not to smile) That's not true Jesus is everywhere all of the time.'

This was when my middle girl jumped in to help me out.

C: 'yeah, like in the garden, in our bedrooms...'

Scar: 'oh yeah, cause him lives just down the road doesn't he?'

Me: 'not entirely scar, no.'

Scar: 'yes him does, I SAW him!'

We still have a little way to go with theology lessons, but this was way too cute not to document for the future. I love how she brightens up every situation. She is my slice of happy even on a super long day.

Questions on concerts

Tomorrow I'm braving the thousands and taking my biggest little lady to see One Direction at the stadium. She is going to absolutely lose her mind. And her voice. I mean, it's a complete shame she doesn't like their music or have a crush on them, poor thing will have absolutely zero fun.

Ya, or not.

Ever since she heard that they were touring she begged me to take her, so after Santa had been, Christmas morning I presented her with a token to say we would be going to see them live. The noise that followed was like a really high pitched kettle just reaching boiling point over a hot stove. Yeah, a REALLY hot stove, she went nuts. In the best way, of course.

The past few months and weeks have been a constant countdown and to say she is just a tad excited is a total understatement. This week we have had a lot of opinions about the concert, mainly about our concert attire....

'Mum, I'm going to wear my white 1D too, do you think you should get one to match?'

'Okay, so if I wear my skinny jeans, will it go with trainers? Because I can't walk from Nando's in my pink wedges can I?!'

'I really think you should get a 1D top mum, otherwise you're going to be the odd one out there!'

'I was thinking to have a messy bun for my hair, because curls might get in my way, what'd you think?'

As you can see, she is totally angling for me to lose any of my remaining street credit by trying to make me wear a 1D merch shirt. Panic not, it ain't happening.

As for my actual outfit, I've yet to decide. What does one wear to a concert full of pre teens? I had the perfect white skinny outfit lined up, but in sheer excitement I just know that missy will spill something like cola and that will be the end of that story. So, tonight I will mostly be hunting through my wardrobe for an outfit that will suffice for such an occasion. It is after all the first ever concert I am taking Quartz too so naturally we will be instagramming the entire day! Ha. 

The roads are closed and trains will be a logistical nightmare, so best pray me and mini get out of the city quickly and easily! 

1000 gifts

It's been a while again hasn't it?

well, I'm never really sure how to begin again after an unannounced hiatus from the old blog, so I'll just dive right in. After months of being far too busy to read, I decided that I would venture into the library and immerse myself in a book that would bring me joy whilst reading it.

Would you believe that the first one I picked out was '1000 gifts - a dare to live fully right where you are.'
The book that nudges you to compile a list of 1000 little blessings in your life.

How perfect was that?

I started reading it just this week and to say it is speaking to me is a bit of an understatement. I'm at a time in my life where I'm doing a lot of processing- learning to handle parenting issues that I've never dealt with before, adjusting to being a divorcee, being a working mama and trying to launch a writing career and generally trying to keep all of the various plates spinning without burning out. So, to have a book practically yell at me to just take some time to pause and be grateful has been incredible.

Reading has often been medicine to me, and what others refer to as escapism, I simply denote as learning. You can't read a book and learn absolutely nothing, whether it's a new word, a life lesson, or even a self truth, books are notorious for stirring up your emotions and then softly soothing them again.

1. The smell of old books
2. The glow of a lamp in a darkened room
3. An old blanket

I try so hard not to complain, but in all honesty, sometimes I just do, because I'd forgotten to be grateful. Gratitude is a lesson, that means that you have to learn it over and over again before it becomes second nature, it's like love, you have to choose it consciously above anything else. What about when the children are running around the house screaming and shrieking and you're on countdown until bed time just so that you can hear your own thoughts? You have to choose love over selfishness, love over brashness and love over pride. Or, how about when your love snaps at you? You want to snap back, really, everything within you wants to retort back- you've even got a brilliant one liner quip all lined up on your tongue, but you choose love instead, and you know what will happen? The row that would have escalated quickly is completely diffused as you take a deep breath and say nothing.

4. fingerprints on windows
5. drawings of mammy by a 5yr old
6. warm drinks at bedtime

More and more I am realising that how we react to the situations we find ourselves in, is a choice. And, when you choose gratitude over attitude, your circumstances will be better, perhaps not instantly, but some day.

I'd gotten a few chapters in when I read this:

'Maybe you don't want a different story, because you don't know what a different end holds.'

And it stirred something so deep within me that I couldn't help but read that phrase over and over again. Isn't that just the truth? Even when we are fully in the throes of wondering what on Earth is going on in life, would we really want it any differently? Really?

I had an RTA and turned my head to look right to overcompensate for not being able to see that way, but would I really want to be any different simply to have avoided a miniscule bump? Would I trade lack of vision for the unknown? Would I rather have risked having a different impairment? No, of course not, so why was I lamenting over it?

7. an inquisitive mind
8. running at the gym

It's a slow process, but the more I jot down things that I love in my life, the more I appreciate how good I really have got it. The book is based around the word 'eucharisteo' which broken down literally means 'grace, thanks, joy' or 'gift, thanks, joy' Perhaps that's why after you recognise the gift and appreciate the gift, you're left feeling lighter, more optimistic somehow, perhaps Ann Voskamp is right, this is the way to uncovering joy.

After situations in your life leave you weakened and a little bit battered, it seems the only lasting way to regain your joy is to be thankful for what you have, because as the saying goes 'there's someone in the world who is happy with less than you have.'

9. silence
10. The hoot of an owl

She learnt a new song

Scarlette was in the back of the car whilst we were driving to pick Ben up, this was how she told me about the new song she had learnt at nursery.

Scarlette: mammy, I learnt the rubber dubber song aday!

Me: did you babe? Sing it for mammy.

Scarlette: yep okay, it goes:

Old mubber Hubbard went to the cupboard,

To get her poor gog (dog) a bone.

But, when she got there... There was a ... BEAR!!! 

So the poor little gog had none!

Hysterical.

Then she proceeded to tell me about the pet she met and stroked...

S: it was so cute mammy it was like a piglet that was a goat!

Which by the way transpired to be a guinea pig. Seriously, I could eat her up.

Kindness elf

The girls and I have been so excited for the start of advent, so this morning everyone started out the day on a real happy note. I'm not sure whether it's the anticipation of Christmas, or the fact they get to eat chocolate every morning when they open their advent calenders that makes them so, but I love seeing their little eyes light up. This week we have been talking about how Christmas is the perfect time to spread happiness and be kind to people, and when I asked them how they could show kindness, they came up with some great ideas, they included:

- Play with somebody who is lonely on the play yard
- Make a drawing or card to thank their teachers
- Giving a homeless person a blanket
- Sharing their sweets or chocolates
-Praying for the children who don't have mummys and daddys

Seriously, when they kept coming up with super generous ideas, it kind of blew me away. I thanked the good Lord, that perhaps I'm doing an alright job at this parenting lark, and told them that this month we were going to do those things.

I've been thinking of ways to get the girls to re-focus on their ideas during this exciting season where sometimes commercialism and 'wants' can get in the way of real needs. At first I thought we could make a jar and have one of them pick out a good deed each day, but then I saw a post on facebook in reference to 'the kindness elf' - it's an elf on the shelf alternative, and I think it is THE best idea for children to realise the true meaning of Christmas.

Today we said prayers for the children in the world who don't have mammys and daddys and my middle Princess piped up 'and please give those children nice warm homes and everything that they need for a great Christmas' and I about welled up.  I so hope that they remember these fundamentals not just at Christmas, but all year round. Teaching them to have an attitude of gratitude is high on my list of priorities as a mama, and as a person. Sometimes I can be all too quick to complain about something that isn't quite going my way, like the fact I did an entire re-stock of my freezer, only to come home to find my freezer was dead. True Story. If it was acceptable for grown ups to throw a tantrum, I think I most definitely would have, but really I should have been grateful that I had the money in my account to shop, and a home to come home to.

Tomorrow I am heading to Tiger to buy a little kindness elf who will 'write' notes to my girls each night reminding them of a good deed they could try and do that day. I'm so looking forward to starting this new tradition!

By the way, tomorrow is Giving Tuesday so, get involved, do something kind for someone for no reason at all, and don't forget to spread the word!

And then it rained, and rained, and rained

It has been pouring with rain for about a hundred days. Okay maybe just three days but it seems like so much longer! The drainage on my drive isn't great and so if I have to go ANYWHERE then my footwear default is set to 'wellies'- anything else gets sodden with sludgy leaves and soaked through from puddles. And I am done with ruining shoes since I've figured out how expensive my taste seems to be.So I've worn wellies for a hundred days and I am okay with that.

Except, that when I come home and take them off, my legs are aching like crazy. So much so that my thighs and shins think it's been leg day at the gym all week. Which is great, except that I haven't visited the gym this week, (I know, don't judge.)

So I finally think I understand how the people, who constantly wince when I wear heels, feel. Ouch. All the flat shoe wearing is a bit of a shock to the system!

My porch also seems to collect water, as when I opened the door to let cookie out around a pint of water fell in through the door and soaked my very cool elf slippers.

All this to say. I'm over all this rain.